Quotes

"I've found that when life's brush obscures my view with gloomy strokes that seem to mar the scene, God's hand appears and gives to sunless hue and dreary skies a more majestic sheen." Gustafson

07 May 2009

DAY 92

After working all day (ok, so I get off at 3:30 but it still FEELS like the whole day), it was so great coming home to the kids and heading outside for some late afternoon, pre-dinner fun. With Chris' long hours, we never know when he'll get home so I'm getting used to just going with the flow. We had a fun time on a neighbors trampoline, took them for a little wagon ride, played outback, made dinner, painted nails (painted Brit's and she painted mine, clear of course!), gave the kids baths, got little man down and the best part was wearing glow in the dark bracelets outside and reading "Fancy Nancy" to Brit by the streetlight! It was about 9:15 when all was said and done so I decided to go ahead and bake some cinnamon streusel bread for breakfast since my parent's are here. Any prep work I can do at night is oh so helpful.
It's 9:45 and Chris is just now heading home. His shift is SUPPOSED to end at 6:30 but it's a guessing game from day to day (last night he didn't get home until after midnight!!). For whatever reason, it might be loneliness or plain ole sabotage, I engulfed a box of caramel corn tonight. It's embarrassing to admit but I want to be honest. It's freeing to release my "secrets" even though it's really hard to put myself out there. I even felt so great this morning when I got into yet another pair of pants I haven't worn in a LONG TIME. I miss my hubs and when I'm emotional, I head straight for food. Needless to say, that box of caramel corn probably took up all my points for the rest of the month! And tomorrow night is going to be a struggle because we're going to Buca Di Beppo for dinner....only the most amazing family style Italian restaurant around!
Eating out of emotion and eating so much definitely took me back in time to the shameful feelings I've known all my life and yet haven't felt much of at all since I started the 90 in 09 quest a few months back. I need prayers and the will power to keep on the straight and narrow.
Thanks for taking the time to follow my quest....the good, bad and the ugly.

1 comment:

Allison said...

You know I'm praying for you...and you shouldn't be ashamed ever! I am so proud of you for being so honest. That in itself is a feat! Good luck this weekend! I'm with ya on this journey, girl...