"I've found that when life's brush obscures my view with gloomy strokes that seem to mar the scene, God's hand appears and gives to sunless hue and dreary skies a more majestic sheen." Gustafson

22 December 2009

Day 8....post Christmas cookies :(

Chris is out doing some last minute Christmas shopping and I just finished my workout and am about to finish up some wrapping. I'm feeling some shame tonight because I allowed myself a Christmas treat and even counted the calories in my daily intake but then lost control and had 3 other treats after dinner knowing it would put me over my calories. Thankfully, I didn't go overboard like I'm capable of AND I chose to do 20 minutes of fast pace interval training. Tomorrow's a new day!!!

Goals met:
Calories: OVER 1500
Workout: 20 minutes (warm-up & interval training)

Abundance is...getting a surprise call from Brit this morning on my way to work!

21 December 2009

Day 7....

Cinnamon sticks, cloves and slices of oranges simmering on the stove sure do fill the house with the most amazing fragrance! Definitely a Christmas smell.

When I got home from work, Mimi informed me that Brit had done my Dustin DVD workouts this morning using my 5 lb weights, ha! And she jumped at the chance to do them with me again this afternoon. I wish you could've seen her working out next to me, trying to keep up with Dustin! PRECIOUS! I was SO happy to get my 20 minute workout in BEFORE dinner.

The kids and I had movie night complete with a pizza & veggies picnic on the living room floor and ELF playing! I hate Chris wasn't home (working late and still not home) to enjoy it with us.

I counted every calorie that went into my mouth today and still managed to stay out of the chocolates at work. It's so funny to me that when I'm on, I'm ON! But when I fall off the wagon, I'm completely OFF! I haven't been tempted since I started blogging last week.... it's been so helpful to write about this process.

Goals met today:
Calories: 1500 exactly (lots of carrots, celery sticks and strawberries with my pizza)
Workout: 20 minute strength training

Abundance is...4 more days until Christmas!

20 December 2009

Day 6....

I'm emotionally spent today from various things going on and decided I needed a mental health night for my sanity. So I'm sitting on the couch by the tree chilling while Chris is out with a friend and the kids are in bed. It was a busy and productive day of baking, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, painting Brit's nails, and getting ready for a dinner with friends tonight. The kids and I had a blast (Chris had to work late, boo!). Considering the amazing choices of food at the party, I counted everything I ate but still went over about 450 calories today. I guess I'll consider this my cheat day. Normally, I would stand over the chips and dip and go to town but I didn't. And I stayed away from the cookies and other goodies. I realize that a good chunk of my calories came from soda and other drinks...something I need to be more aware of.

Goals met today: NONE....but I'm not discouraged nor am I ready to throw in the towel.
Calories: over by 450
Workout: took the night off

Abundance is...baking with Britain.

19 December 2009

Day 5....post Cracker Barrel

It's been a busy day around the house with the fam, clipping coupons and planning for the week, stocking up at the grocery store, Church tonight, dinner at Cracker Barrel and a little Wal-mart shopping (boo!).

I managed to eat within my calories and get in a short workout tonight. We always eat out after Church on Saturday nights so I asked Chris earlier in the day if we could decide where we would go so I could have my calories in hand. I never do well if I'm caught off guard and don't have a plan. He graciously let me pick CB! So, I had chicken tenders (for protein), two sides of green beans (veggies), 1 biscuit w/grape jelly (normally I would have 2) and Dr. Pepper (lately I've been having one a day...a habit I'd like to break sometime soon but for now baby steps!). In the past, I would ALWAYS get mac & cheese and cole slaw with my veggie plate but after looking at those calories, I won't be having those anytime soon! I actually got a side of mac & cheese for the kids but didn't have one bite. Yay!!

I'm off to finish cleaning-up the house and help Chris with the laundry.

Goals met today:
Calories: 1500
Workout: 5 min warm-up and 10 minute intense cario workout

Abundance is....getting a sweet and unexpected compliment from my hubby

18 December 2009

Day 4....post Christmas party part deux

My day started out pretty stressed and emotional. The van wouldn't start and my heart is heavy with other things going on all around us. I first wanted to turn to food. The stress triggered my need to have control. And believe me, there's plenty in the office for me to fill-up on. BUT, I chose to pray and suck on my bottle of water instead of wallowing in food. Thank you, Lord that I chose YOU over food this time!!

It's 10:56PM and if you can believe it (I'm still in disbelief!), I just finished a 20 minute strength training workout post Christmas party! I seriously came down to the bonus room to do a quick 10 minute cardio set just to get in my workout for the day but I WANTED to do more!! I'm so happy to report that I went to the Christmas feast well prepared so I wouldn't throw in the towel and stuff my face. I must have a plan...and it worked! I wrote down all the calories for the things I knew I'd love and want and took my cheat-sheet to the party. I added filler foods like strawberries, apple slices, carrots and celery and for dessert only had 2 red. fat vanilla wafers, 1 TBSP of chocolate chip ball and 2 small peppermint patties. Definitely a milestone for me in that normally I would've hovered over the dessert table and gorged myself. :) It also helped that one of my dearest friends (who follows my blog) was standing with me at the dessert table so I had someone to watch what I put on my plate. Accountability definitely works!

We did the sneaky santa gift exchange and believe it or not, my present was a bag of Kettle corn (one of my favs!), chocolate covered fruit and black bean salsa. Somehow, I picked the only food item and I love it (in moderation of course!). :)

So thankful for a healthy ending to the day!

Goals met today:
Calories: 1500 (possibly a little over because of all the fruit and veggies I ate at dinner)
Workout: 20 minute strength training

Abundance is....a fun-filled evening with friends!

17 December 2009

Day 3 and out of breath

Whew....I'm panting as I type! Dustin (the video trainer) gave a GREAT cardio workout that was really intense. It involves interval training so it's fast pace and according to recent studies, said to be more effective than 30-45 minute cardio workouts. The 10 minute workout involves high knee punching, dumbbell squats and pretend jumping rope in place. I did the workout through twice with a nice warm-up to start.

It's been a great day of eating and self-control. I bought myself a pack of the mini-peppermint patties to have on hand for treats so I can eat those (1 or 2 max/day) when I'm tempted to pig out on chocolate or other desserts. They're low in calories and totally satisfy my sweet tooth.

Little man's Christmas program was yesterday and Brit's was tonight and they both did SO well!! We are so proud of them!!! My heart is full.

Goals met today:
Calories: 1575 - I went over 75 calories because I couldn't just stop at ONE Mrs. Shubert's rolls at dinner...DANG!
Workout: 20 mins (warm-up & cardio)

Abundance is....the smell of banana bread baking (I'm making some for Brit's teacher now and is smells divine!)

16 December 2009

Day 2

Day two and I managed to stay out of the chocolates again at work AND at the Christmas party tonight! Woohoo! I actually didn't have ANY sweets at the party. I ate some crackers, carrots, celery, a little Ranch dressing, pineapple chunks, and a few strawberry slices in moderation. Moderation is HUGE for me because I never eat in moderation.

Thanks for all the sweet comments. Positive words and encouragement sure do fuel my heart! I'm glad to know that some of us are on this journey together.

Goals met today:
Calories: Before dinner, I had 475 calories left. I'm not sure how to calculate the veggies, fruit and crackers I ate at the party but I'm confident I stayed within my 1500 calories or close to it. So proud I didn't PIG OUT tonight!
Workout: No workout...Chris got home late and I decided to do my coupon clipping while we watched a little TV together on the couch. I plan on working out the next 4 days to hit my 5 a week goal.

Abundance is.....the glorious smell of an Evergreen candle burning.

15 December 2009

Confessions of a chocoholic!

It's the eve of my first Christmas party of the year (one of two this week). Honestly, it's hard to know where to start after taking such a long sabbatical from the blogging world! These past 4+ months have been a blur. I realized this week that I really need my friends....I benefited so much earlier this year when I blogged about my journey to health and taking care of myself. Since then, I've blimped up again :) and have been on an emotional, spiritual and physical roller coaster with food, workouts and my body. Thus, alas I'm back to start my blog journal up again. Somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that I'm not worth it. I'm an inconsistent failure and don't deserve to feel happy or look my best. Why do I choose to listen to the lies?? URGH!

My sweet sister came for a visit back in November and we started working out together and doing the Fit Moms for Life DVD with Dustin Maher. While I've not been consist at it since late November, it's the best workout and in addition, we were journaling our calorie intake which was super eyeopening and helpful in taking care of myself. Check him out! www.dustinmaherfitness.com

I've got a new goal now ladies (and Chris & Dad)!! We're planning a trip to Disney World in late March for Britain's 5th birthday so it's perfect motivation to get in better health and shape by then. I'm SO awful about setting lofty goals and never sticking with my plan long term.

This is scary and vulnerable but I'm going to put my goal out there. I choose to lose 20 lbs by March 25th...a few days before we leave for Disney.

Reasons for choosing to FINALLY defeat this war between self and food:

1) To honor God
2) To feel confident and comfortable in my own skin
3) To look & feel my best for myself and Chris
4) Sick of being out of breath
5) Tired of food taking up my thoughts and controlling my mind
6) To have a healthy relationship with food
7) To set a consistent example for my kids and others (I'm such a hypocrite!)
8) Sick & tired of hiding when I eat certain foods and eating off the kids plates.
9) Ready to slide into my "skinny" pants again!
10)My tummy bulge and wide hips have GOT to go!

As all of you have heard me say before, food is such a strong hold in my life. I've struggled with it my WHOLE life! I heard a name on "Bride Wars" that describes who I want to be ..... an "ex-heffer"!! This makes me laugh so hard!!! :) Even now as I type, there's a bag of Christmas chocolates GLARING at me and yelling loudly, "EAT ME!!!!" I denounce you D*** chocolates!!! And wouldn't you know, another gift basket came to the office from The Cocoa Tree!!! I also heard this from a sweet friend last week, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!". This is keeping me out of those stinkin chocolates right now! Thank you CV!

So my commitment is to blog every night until March 25th. **Exception-I won't have access to a computer at my parents from the 26th-31st so I'll be silent for a few days. BUT, I'll still journal my days while I'm away so I don't fall flat on my face....as I normally do when I'm on vacation. :)

Weekly/daily goals: to eat 1500 calories or less daily AND workout at least 5 times a week.

Goals met today:
Calories: My calories were 1355 before I had one orange ball (thanks Mimi) and a small slice of walnut fruit cake (I don't know how to calculate these)
Workout: 30 mins (5 min warm-up and 25 min strength training) - My arms & legs are shaking!

Abundance is.....white twinkle lights and a warm blanket.