Quotes

"I've found that when life's brush obscures my view with gloomy strokes that seem to mar the scene, God's hand appears and gives to sunless hue and dreary skies a more majestic sheen." Gustafson

15 December 2009

Confessions of a chocoholic!

It's the eve of my first Christmas party of the year (one of two this week). Honestly, it's hard to know where to start after taking such a long sabbatical from the blogging world! These past 4+ months have been a blur. I realized this week that I really need my friends....I benefited so much earlier this year when I blogged about my journey to health and taking care of myself. Since then, I've blimped up again :) and have been on an emotional, spiritual and physical roller coaster with food, workouts and my body. Thus, alas I'm back to start my blog journal up again. Somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that I'm not worth it. I'm an inconsistent failure and don't deserve to feel happy or look my best. Why do I choose to listen to the lies?? URGH!

My sweet sister came for a visit back in November and we started working out together and doing the Fit Moms for Life DVD with Dustin Maher. While I've not been consist at it since late November, it's the best workout and in addition, we were journaling our calorie intake which was super eyeopening and helpful in taking care of myself. Check him out! www.dustinmaherfitness.com

I've got a new goal now ladies (and Chris & Dad)!! We're planning a trip to Disney World in late March for Britain's 5th birthday so it's perfect motivation to get in better health and shape by then. I'm SO awful about setting lofty goals and never sticking with my plan long term.

This is scary and vulnerable but I'm going to put my goal out there. I choose to lose 20 lbs by March 25th...a few days before we leave for Disney.

Reasons for choosing to FINALLY defeat this war between self and food:

1) To honor God
2) To feel confident and comfortable in my own skin
3) To look & feel my best for myself and Chris
4) Sick of being out of breath
5) Tired of food taking up my thoughts and controlling my mind
6) To have a healthy relationship with food
7) To set a consistent example for my kids and others (I'm such a hypocrite!)
8) Sick & tired of hiding when I eat certain foods and eating off the kids plates.
9) Ready to slide into my "skinny" pants again!
10)My tummy bulge and wide hips have GOT to go!

As all of you have heard me say before, food is such a strong hold in my life. I've struggled with it my WHOLE life! I heard a name on "Bride Wars" that describes who I want to be ..... an "ex-heffer"!! This makes me laugh so hard!!! :) Even now as I type, there's a bag of Christmas chocolates GLARING at me and yelling loudly, "EAT ME!!!!" I denounce you D*** chocolates!!! And wouldn't you know, another gift basket came to the office from The Cocoa Tree!!! I also heard this from a sweet friend last week, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!". This is keeping me out of those stinkin chocolates right now! Thank you CV!

So my commitment is to blog every night until March 25th. **Exception-I won't have access to a computer at my parents from the 26th-31st so I'll be silent for a few days. BUT, I'll still journal my days while I'm away so I don't fall flat on my face....as I normally do when I'm on vacation. :)

Weekly/daily goals: to eat 1500 calories or less daily AND workout at least 5 times a week.

Goals met today:
Calories: My calories were 1355 before I had one orange ball (thanks Mimi) and a small slice of walnut fruit cake (I don't know how to calculate these)
Workout: 30 mins (5 min warm-up and 25 min strength training) - My arms & legs are shaking!

Abundance is.....white twinkle lights and a warm blanket.

5 comments:

Rachel said...

SO glad you are back! Now that I'm not pregnant or post surgery we can journey together. :) And since Brit and I share a b-day our goal time is up about the same time (I'm going till the 28th).

I have struggled since Thanksgiving as well. I haven't gained but I haven't been into my workout routine and I'm absolutely NOT making good food choices. I plan to start the P90X workout challenge on Dec. 28, so my goal until that point is to do the workouts a few times so as not to injure myself. I'll be praying for you! Much love!

Dana B! said...

I wish I had read this before I decided to eat cookies for breakfast. You have motivated me Brooke! Last night was my first night at the gym since before Finley was born. Reading your blog this morning has encouraged me to get serious about getting back into shape. I know I will feel better about myself when that happens. Like you, I miss my skinny jeans. My goal is 20 pounds by May 1st...because I need a new bathing suit this year & want to enjoy finding the right one! While my plan is to be aggressive with exercise, I also plan on making wiser food choices, and getting more fruits & veggies back into my diet. No more cookies for breakfast, and PORTION CONTROL is back!

Brooke said...

We CAN do this ladies! Even though we're miles apart, I'm so glad to do this together. I love you both so much!!! Thanks for sharing your goals and encouragement. It's ON!!!!

cv said...

You KNOW I'm glad you're back!! I love reading this part of your life - and living the rest of it alongside you. You will do this girl, you can and you will!

and you're welcome ;)

Crystal

Allison said...

I've missed you, friend! I have also been slacking on the blogging and all other angles :) It is hard when you don't have that accountability...and my life has been crazy busy lately!!! I have been reading a book called "Fat Chance" written by Julie Hadden, who was a Biggest Loser finalist. She writes about how seeing herself as God sees her really allowed her to understand her true worth. It's definitely a good read! I found it in the Christian Living section at B&N. I know you can do it!!! I'm so glad you're back :)

Love you!