A Spacious Place...

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."
-Psalm 18:16-19

In an attempt to re-commit to blogging AND get back on track building a healthy lifestyle, starting today, I'm commiting to the 90 in 09 Challenge. Want to know what the heck this is? Read below.

RESHAPE YOUR BODY, YOUR MIND & YOUR LIFE

The 90 in 09 Challenge is designed to aid Mike Weaver (lead singer of Big Daddy Weave) in his goal to lose 90 pounds in the year 2009. With help from "Americas Health Coach," Dr. Asa Andrew, and fitness trainer and founder of the YMCA Restore Ministries, Scott Reall, Mike will be given all the health, fitness and spiritual support needed to make his resolution a reality. Take action in your own life and join the 90-day challenge by clicking on the TAKE THE CHALLENGE tab. Your health is your greatest wealth, and a gift from God. Sign up to join the challenge, and commit to pray for Mike and others like him.

TAKE THE CHALLENGE

To join with Mike and accept the 90 in 09 Challenge, you simply agree to these 3 daily commitments for a NEW Life:

Nutrition – Exercise – Worship

NUTRITION
1. Recognizing that the purpose of the foods that I eat is to provide my body with the fuel it needs, I commit to make food choices that are nutritious and appropriate in portion size.

EXERCISE
2. Realizing the positive impact that exercise has on my overall well being, I will spend a total of 20-30 minutes at least 4 days a week engaged in physical activity. (Mike's commitment is to exercise EACH day; I altered this plan to fit my lifestyle).

WORSHIP
3. Believing that true overall health encompasses spiritual growth which comes from spending time with God, I choose to set aside time each day to be devoted soley to Him.

Like Mike, I went through the Journey to Freedom class a few months ago and had every intention of sticking to my action plan and goals but find myself in a pit of despair (so to speak). For as long as I can remember, I've had a food addiction. I'm an emotional eater and over eat, sometimes out of control. Eating in hiding is something I know and do so well. With all this, brings a lot of shame and body image issues. It is an addiction I've tried to overcome numerous times without avail. I KNOW the truth in God's word, but it has not set me free. I'm on a journey to live in freedom. Not that I won't struggle with it every day for the rest of my life, but I want to invite Jesus into my moments and make choices that will please and honor Him.

I can't do this alone and recognize that I MUST have accountability or I WILL fall flat on my face. Thus, I commit to God, to YOU (anyone who is reading this!), my family, and myself, that for the next 90 days (Feb 5, 2009 to May 5, 2009) I will blog about this 90 day journey to freedom. While I don't need to lose 90 pounds, I do hope to shed my winter (spring, summer, fall) coat of 15-20 lbs. I've got a few pairs of smaller size pants that still have the tags on them and I'm READY for them to stop laughing at me every time I open the door to my closet! Right now, I'm sporting my "big girl" pants, as I call them... NOT FUN or pretty! But some how I've managed to get really comfortable with this vicious cycle of sabotaging my efforts, relying on my own strength, listening to the devil's lies that I'll never be able to change and getting too used to making my home in the pit. Food has such a control over me. It is an idol in my life that has consumed me. I also commit to following the three daily commitments for a NEW Life. I realize this is my journey and my struggles but I covet your prayers as I embark on what will be the most challenging battle – me vs. God and the struggle to surrender moment by moment. Some days I may struggle to blog a single sentence but my heart's prayer is that God will show me that THIS is possible, that I DON'T have to live in defeat the rest of my life.

One last thing...I love this note written by Scott Reall (Founder of Restore Ministries) he calls the "Power of Vision" that's posted on the YMCA website.

"There are two types of motivation - one is called extrinsic motivation, the other is called intrinsic motivation. In Journey to Freedom, we work with people who are trying to create a new life for themselves by changing a key part of their lives. We know that the key to sustaining change is maintaining the motivation, for the rest of our lives, always moving towards our new self, our best self that we are in the process of creating with God in the process of change.

Here's what we know about motivation: when a person is motivated by need, they often will settle for a temporary fix. The motivation is an external motivation - what we call extrinsic. For example: "I need to lose 20 pounds because my husband doesn't like me as much when I am overweight" - this pressure is external. When this external motivation is removed, the change is not permanent and the individual usually falls back into their former habits. But, when the motivation is driven by vision - a vision of becoming the man or woman that God truly wants you to be, becoming your best self - that's called intrinsic motivation. It's being driven by this vision of becoming something that is very meaningful to you - "I want to become this man or woman I can see God calling me to be." It's as if you and God are in it together. You both want to make you the best you can be. Whenever a person is motivated by vision - these are the people who will experience lasting change that will sustain for a lifetime."
May God bless you on your Journey!
Scott Reall

Thank you for encouraging me on my journey!

Inching torward freedom...

My heart is elated! I'm inching toward freedom...and tonight was the first (public) step of moving forward. With God's help, counseling has been the gateway that has gotten me to this place. So the class/book is, Journey to Freedom: Your Start to a Lifetime of Hope, Health, and Happiness. I feel like I'm on the brink of finally learning what it will be like to live fully.....as me.

Sage words

These are the words that God has spoken to me through the sages in my life this week.

There is NO shame in brokenness; Satan only destroys; God creates; There's a part of me that's missing, it's under the wreckage. Be fully alive! Feel my feelings. God fixes broken things. The problem is my view of God, not my ruins. Either join God's story or be crushed by it. God wants to rebuild, redeem and restore ME!

Enough said...

A stroll on the Natchez bridge....

Somehow, family time goes so much smoother when there's no plan; no agenda. We welcomed CNB home after a few days out on the road and spent the evening just being together. Dinner consisted of a good ole cheap meal from Moe's, proceeded by a drive in the country. The landscape and beauty of the countryside out on Old Hillsboro Rd and Del Rio Pike is incredible. CNB wanted to scope it out so he can take his "new" scooter for a drive out in the country this week. It's been awhile since we drove the Natchez bridge so we made the "trek" up to the top to show BEB and then got out and walked around for a bit. The view of the sunset and heavens was absolutely gorgeous! It was a delightful evening....I cherish moments with my VIPs.

"Chazown"

Today I lived with purpose. Today I had a vision.

I'm reading a book called "Chazown" meaning vision and God is using it in a mighty to reveal my giftings, passion and purpose. I started my day making a list of very specific mini-goals that align with my core values and spiritual gifts. Living on purpose with these goals has made such a difference today. On "normal" days, I find myself wandering and distracted. Unmotivated and lazy. Knowing what I "need to do" but lacking direction and dedication to get there. It's really helped me to put in writing my giftings so I can focus specifically on using them to the fullest for God's glory. I even wrote out a mission statement for my life!! It's amazing how focused I felt today just with having a plan and not my typical list of to-dos to get me through.

If you're interested in the book, check-out this link: http://www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590525470

Orphan

Abba, Daddy ~

You took me in and saved me from a life of darkness and despair.
You clothed me with righteousness and gave me the bread of life.
You granted me a home and a place of honor in Your heart.
I shutter to think where I would be if You hadn't rescued my very life.
I was created to be with You forever.
Help me fight this desire to find my earthly "family" - the very ones
who cause me much pain and are against me.
Open my heart to embrace the home within You.

"Mercy triumphs over judgment."
-James 2:13

Vintage for my soul

It's been a full, wonderfully long week filled with sadness, joy, ponderings and stirrings in my heart. I did something yesterday I rarely, if ever, do. I took a guilt-free hour to wander around quaint little antique shops in downtown Franklin. The vintage findings and sights were refreshing for my soul. I picked up three beautiful pieces that brought me inspiration. Something else I rarely do....I actually purchased the items for mere joy and pleasure.
Finding #1 - A turquoise maraco/shaker (sp?) with bright flowers caught my attention. Perfect for BEB's instrument collection!
Finding #2 - This particular cross, with glass inlaid, struck me because you could see your reflection perfectly in it. A beautiful symbol of how we are to reflect Christ. It was made for the wall in our dining room.
Finding #3 - I love toile, it doesn't matter what color! In a boutique section, I found this simple black & beige toile pillow. A perfect accent piece for the old, brown rocking chair CNB has had since he was a tot.
I'm grateful for the little money that comes in from here and there to be able to make such purchases.