Inching torward freedom...

My heart is elated! I'm inching toward freedom...and tonight was the first (public) step of moving forward. With God's help, counseling has been the gateway that has gotten me to this place. So the class/book is, Journey to Freedom: Your Start to a Lifetime of Hope, Health, and Happiness. I feel like I'm on the brink of finally learning what it will be like to live fully.....as me.

Sage words

These are the words that God has spoken to me through the sages in my life this week.

There is NO shame in brokenness; Satan only destroys; God creates; There's a part of me that's missing, it's under the wreckage. Be fully alive! Feel my feelings. God fixes broken things. The problem is my view of God, not my ruins. Either join God's story or be crushed by it. God wants to rebuild, redeem and restore ME!

Enough said...

A stroll on the Natchez bridge....

Somehow, family time goes so much smoother when there's no plan; no agenda. We welcomed CNB home after a few days out on the road and spent the evening just being together. Dinner consisted of a good ole cheap meal from Moe's, proceeded by a drive in the country. The landscape and beauty of the countryside out on Old Hillsboro Rd and Del Rio Pike is incredible. CNB wanted to scope it out so he can take his "new" scooter for a drive out in the country this week. It's been awhile since we drove the Natchez bridge so we made the "trek" up to the top to show BEB and then got out and walked around for a bit. The view of the sunset and heavens was absolutely gorgeous! It was a delightful evening....I cherish moments with my VIPs.

"Chazown"

Today I lived with purpose. Today I had a vision.

I'm reading a book called "Chazown" meaning vision and God is using it in a mighty to reveal my giftings, passion and purpose. I started my day making a list of very specific mini-goals that align with my core values and spiritual gifts. Living on purpose with these goals has made such a difference today. On "normal" days, I find myself wandering and distracted. Unmotivated and lazy. Knowing what I "need to do" but lacking direction and dedication to get there. It's really helped me to put in writing my giftings so I can focus specifically on using them to the fullest for God's glory. I even wrote out a mission statement for my life!! It's amazing how focused I felt today just with having a plan and not my typical list of to-dos to get me through.

If you're interested in the book, check-out this link: http://www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590525470

Orphan

Abba, Daddy ~

You took me in and saved me from a life of darkness and despair.
You clothed me with righteousness and gave me the bread of life.
You granted me a home and a place of honor in Your heart.
I shutter to think where I would be if You hadn't rescued my very life.
I was created to be with You forever.
Help me fight this desire to find my earthly "family" - the very ones
who cause me much pain and are against me.
Open my heart to embrace the home within You.

"Mercy triumphs over judgment."
-James 2:13

Vintage for my soul

It's been a full, wonderfully long week filled with sadness, joy, ponderings and stirrings in my heart. I did something yesterday I rarely, if ever, do. I took a guilt-free hour to wander around quaint little antique shops in downtown Franklin. The vintage findings and sights were refreshing for my soul. I picked up three beautiful pieces that brought me inspiration. Something else I rarely do....I actually purchased the items for mere joy and pleasure.
Finding #1 - A turquoise maraco/shaker (sp?) with bright flowers caught my attention. Perfect for BEB's instrument collection!
Finding #2 - This particular cross, with glass inlaid, struck me because you could see your reflection perfectly in it. A beautiful symbol of how we are to reflect Christ. It was made for the wall in our dining room.
Finding #3 - I love toile, it doesn't matter what color! In a boutique section, I found this simple black & beige toile pillow. A perfect accent piece for the old, brown rocking chair CNB has had since he was a tot.
I'm grateful for the little money that comes in from here and there to be able to make such purchases.

Facing the GIANTS of fear

So I would HAVE to say that my life has completely changed since I watched the movie "Facing the Giants" a few weekends back. God has used the message in that movie to really open my eyes to the oh-so-many fears I have (many without even realizing it). It has been so COOL to see God move me from my usual defeated self to ACTION! I accepted Christ when I was 8 years old so while I know that was a very true and real decision, I've never had a conversion story. I've never been able to look back on my life and really see a difference as far as my walk with Jesus. But, in the last few weeks, I feel like a NEW woman! So many phrases from the movie (like a chant song!) keep playing over and over in my mind. "Don't quit, don't give up at a certain point when you know you can go further. Give me more." "Don't quit 'til you got nothing left. Your very best! Your very best!" "Give God our very best in every area." "If we win, we praise Him. If we lose, we praise Him." "Don't be afraid. Just face your fear!" "You can't be afraid of failure." "Stay sharp, stay focused, have fun and honor God." "As long as we honor God, NOTHING is impossible." "Do not lose heart, do not stop fighting." "Do the best you can and leave the results up to God." "God chooses to work in our lives because He's good; because He loves us."

Jesus is meeting me where I am and has changed my heart!