DAY 19

It's day 19...It's day 19! IT'S DAY NINETEEN!!!! If you can't tell by my enthusiasm, I'm pretty struck with the fact that I've made it to day 19! I'm not a consistent person, I don't stick with things. I get frustrated after my first attempt trying and then give up and give in. BUT, I've been trucking along for the last nineteen days NOT returning to my old habits. WOW, this is so freeing!! I've still got the rest of my life on this quest but I'm so grateful to say that God is allowing me to triumph in even the smallest personal victories.

I read the below excerpt on the 90in09 website this morning and it really stomped on my toes...

From Journey To Freedom Founder, Scott Reall

"The importance of compassion … anytime that we are in the process of training for something or attempting to make a lifestyle change – anything we're trying to change … we need to have compassion for ourselves. Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leader in the world of working with addictions, believe it's the most important part of our efforts to change. Because what Dr. Carnes knows is the same thing that many of you know … days that you don't feel like training or you cant because of your schedule or you simply can't muster up the motivation, you wont walk this out perfectly. You will have days that you wont meet your goals. We mess up. Daily "slips" add up and before you know it, guilty feelings wash over you and you believe that the best thing to do is give up. Just quit. This is where the ability to have compassion toward ourselves is so very critical. Our ability to successfully stay the course when we begin to falter. What compassion provides is the ability to give myself permission to start over – to get right back in there and work my program. To not beat myself up. We have to refuse to go there. Any time that you step back in is a victory. Sometimes the most difficult steps are the ones where we move back toward our goals … admitting we've blown it. We've messed up. It's okay. It's a process. More importantly, YOU are okay. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. It is not about the finish lines … it's about the process. The process is what God will use to transform you."

Ouch! I realized after reading this that over the course of my life and specifically in my journey to healing from food addiction, I have had NO compassion for myself. I listen to my inner critic and live in defeat instead of getting back up the next day, brushing myself off and moving forward. I think that's why these past 19 days have been so different, so freeing, so crucial to my quest.

HIGHLIGHTS
*I told you last night a Sonic latte was in my future...so I stopped on my way into work early this morning. Sadly, I wasted $2.18 on the WORST latte ever! It had slimy, stringy things in it that kept getting stuck in my teeth (sorry I know that's really gross!). After about 10 small sips, I poured it out and felt sick to my stomach for the next few hours. Needless to say, my strong desire and love for Sonic Caramel Lattes has disappeared...at least for a little while! :)
*I passed up cookies tonight at dinner and only had 1 large piece of cheese pizza with two good size helpings of salad. I was able to say NO to cookies, woohoo! And they looked amazing, by the way!
*I didn't go without sweets today, I had a small helping of chocolate chips and some delicious organic Kettle Corn (thank you Target!).
*No workout or time in the Word today...just being honest. I've been keeping on track with 4 workouts per week and daily time in the Word.
*It's been an emotional past few days and thankfully I've gone a different direction and NOT turned to food for comfort. Instead of stuffing my feelings, I've been able to acknowledge how I'm feeling, talk with others and invite God into my moments.

Another leap forward....